After reading this week all the horrific things that happened to Sarah Everard and the scumbag who was a serving police officer who used his power to “arrest” her and then do what he did to her get the sentence he deserved I have gotten so mad at the “advice” woman have been given to you know try and avoid being raped, attacked and murdered like its are fault and I’m fucking angry about it all.
Woman are taught from a young age how to look after themselves if there walking anywhere after a certain time I remember my mum telling me to stick my keys between my fingers of a night or carry a little bottle of hairspray in my pocket to spray in an attackers eyes if I was attacked, we shouldn’t have to say shit like this to are young girls we should be able to walk freely and not be scared shitless thinking of a million and one things that will keep us safe to make it home or to a friends.
I spoke to a few woman and asked them all what age where you all taught the keys between the hand safety whilst walking alone and it worked out the average age we were all told was between 11-13 the same thing kept coming up with every woman of things we’ve told to keep us “safe”
- Always be aware of your surroundings
- Avoid talking to men if your alone
- Never ask for directions from a man or tell them where your going as you may be followed
- Cross the road if you see any men alone or in a group
- Never walk home alone
- If you go out with friends make sure you all come home together too
- Don’t show to much skin cover yourself up
- Don’t wear to much make up
- Don’t smile or make to much eye contact
- Don’t get drunk
the amount of woman i had tell me they’d lost count the amount of times they’d been followed,stalked ,groped, men have forced themselves upon them and physically attacked and they were doing nothing for this shit to happen to them made me so angry and sad that they had to go threw this like its just the norm for being a female.
The amount of woman who have been sexual assaulted or attacked by someone they know too is madness and most won’t report it either as they don’t think they’ll be believed or they think they’ve brought it on themselves in some way at the end of the day no fucking means no! its not something i’ve told many people but i was one of these girls who didn’t think i’d be believed i was sexually assaulted by a man i was dating at the time i said no multiple times and he still pinned me down, covered my mouth and raped me and said if i told anyone they wouldn’t believe me anyway cause we were dating so i automatically consent! i spent years thinking well it couldn’t be rape with what he said it was only when i was older and i told a friend and she just looked at me and told me you said no multiple times its still rape doesn’t matter if you were dating or not, i dread to think how many woman have been in the same situation as i was and stayed silent.
I have a daughter and i’m so scared of the world shes growing up in i’ve already started teaching her little things shes six years of age and it makes me feel sick that i already have to teach her about not talking to strangers especially men, how her privates shouldn’t be touched by anyone etc i know loads of other parents who are doing the same. only this week we got a message of the school to say a man had inappropriately approached a child on the way to school and that we had to share safeguarding messages with are children and they would be talking about in school too.
We need to be teaching boys from a young age to do what’s right and know all the shit we have to think of and do to keep us safe we need to teach them respect and the right thing to do and before anyone even starts i know its not all men that do this vile shit but it won’t hurt to remind them right from wrong will it!
To every woman that i spoke to thank you for your messages some of your stories had me crying and made me so mad that you’d had to go threw these situations.
my inbox is always open if anyone wants to talk on all my social platforms and if you need any information i will be more than glad to help you out.
xxxxxx
Fat Bird Thinking 