hiya folks! well the world has gone a bit crazy since i last posted hasn’t it! like naughty kids we’ve all been grounded by bj all the fun places like the pub and maccies have closed people panic buying bog roll and pasta and the only fun things to do whilst stuck in the house is to drink eat or nap! plus side to it all is i haven’t worn a bra for days i’m living in pjs and leggings and can’t remember the last time i put make up on or brushed me hair, you’d think my skin would be amazing its not the amount of spots i’ve come out with is isn’t on at all!
Thankfully theres many things to keep us sort of sane at these crazy times books,themed quizzes,colouring in but we all know whats helping us threw this and that is Tiger King! Joe Exotic and his pure hatred for Carol fuckin Baskin the bitch :’) never did we think we would be so obsessed but yet here we are, i honestly don’t think i’ll ever get sick of seeing memes about it all its making my day! it’s my birthday on the 28th April and i’m more than likely gonna be stuck in on it so if anyone wants to send me a tiger king themed card mate you are more than welcome :’) i can’t wait for it all to be over and the world back to normal cause lets face it Halloween is just gonna be a sea of joe’s and carol’s and the world will be a better place for it.
As i’ve mentioned in previous posts i’ve done my brain is a bit of a knobend at times with my anxiety and i’m not gonna lie i’ve had some proper wobbles and had a good cry the thought of having to stand in the big ass queue for the asda fills me with dread and not being able to see family and friends doesn’t help there the ones that usually make me laugh give me a big cuddle and tell me to keep me chin up and talk to them. Don’t get me wrong i love staying at home its my safe place but i like it on my own terms you know what i mean! everyone feels like there loosing the plot a little cabin fever sets in and the boredom is real my friends! but if your having a bad day people that know me personally i am literally a message away and i’ll cheer you right up with my massive collection of memes and dirty jokes and if you don’t know me personally well i don’t mind still message me or email me at fatbirdthinking@outlook.com and i will chat away with you to keep your brain busy! at times like these we have to look after each other our brains are there to look after us but can be dicks to us sometimes so don’t ever suffer in silence message me and chat about anything ok.
Now i love my kids but anyone else even manged to get half the home schooling done? my kids did an hour of it and then got bored! so they’ve been taught life skills instead how to do the dishes, how to cook a hearty home cooked meal and how to load and use the washing machine all with a bit of hope i might eventually get a bit of help round the house but i’m not gonna hold me breath like. It’s hard for the kids they haven’t really got a clue whats going on they just wanna know why school is closed and maccies and why we can’t go outside and play in the sun or go the park all day as much as mummy would like to get felt up by a nice police man in uniform kids its just not worth it so we stay the fuck inside and watch Disney+ whilst mummy has a gin and we just have to like it.
The other thing that i’m loving is the conspiracy theories gang they’ve made me howl at some of the things i’ve read about it all the obvious one is the whole 5G shiz Karen please tell me how you have scientific proof its all 5G masts fault even tho i’m pretty sure they’ve not been turned on yet but please proceed, my ultimate favourite one was they were changing all the batteries in the birds and i honestly hadn’t seen birds for a few days and started to believe it! then theres the gang of folks who are ‘woke’ to the whole situation and tuned to the world and know there’s something deeper going on. It’s because some div decided to eat a bat and then boom we’ve all gotta stay in because of it moral of the story don’t eat fricking bats!
it’s a time of pure uncertainty no one knows when this is gonna be all over and were allowed to get back to normal, when were allowed to go see family and friends and give them a massive big squeeze because we’ve missed them so much or when were allowed to go back to work or a beer garden but we all have to look after each other till then so remember stay the fuck inside unless its shopping for essentials or medical needs, don’t be a dirty pig wash your hands! don’t be tempted to go over the park for a bbq cause its sunny thats just pure dickhead behaviour and don’t panic buy theres enough food for everyone!
Also remember lockdown rules are kinda like airport holiday rules if you wanna have a cider with your breakfast go for it it’ll make your day more interesting and you may get a decent nap out of it, and if you feel like your gonna have a meltdown go for it get it out of your system because tomorrow is a new day yes we may be stuck in and bored shitless but it’ll be over eventually.
REMEMBER TO CLAP FOR THE NHS EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT AT 8PM TOO because without them and all the hard work there doing we would be fucked!!! also whilst i’m at it i’m sending all the love and gratitude to all the key workers out there that still have to go to work in these crazy times! be it the postman, a care worker, police, delivery drivers and shop workers etc your all absolute amazing and thank you!
xxxxxx
Fat Bird Thinking 