well thanks to so many of you liking my post about my shocking dating life i thought i’d do a part two for it! its gonna be full of more of my questionable love life and some break up stories and i’ve asked you guys to help me out and make me feel a little better about what i’ve gone threw and that i’m not alone on this love boat ride! so go grab a brew and biscuits and i’ll get started.
Anyone who knows me knows i’ve dated a lot of questionable knobheads apart from about three all the rest have cheated on me one even cheated on me whilst i was pregnant and then went on to leave me and his son for the girl last i heard they were married good luck to her shes gonna need it poor thing married the man with the smallest penis in Liverpool :’) rather her than me!
we all know by now i’m not bothered i’m an open book i’ll tell you about stuff and not give a shit!the funny thing is i started writing this post and the fella i was dating broke up with me its like my life decided i needed another story for you all! :’) so with that being said lets go into my break up stories and all have a giggle.
The lad i dated when i was 18 (the one who’s dad saw my chesticles!) was my first proper relationship you know the one were you fall hopelessly in love with them and the sun shines out of their arse! he was a posh boy from the Wirral and i was a poor bird from Walton it was never gonna last the ages was it but when were young and in love we think it will, we dated for a whole year saw each other three times a week it was awesome. We texted literally every day and then out of the blue he stopped replying to my texts so i just assumed he was busy two days later i got a text telling me he loved me but he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore! i was of course heartbroken called him a gobshite and cried for three days solid. Couple of weeks later he asked to meet up with me to talk so i agreed made sure i looked amazing (i was 18 and a size 10 could wear anything and look good now i just look like a potato!) we talked he got drunk and sang James Morrison songs to me and i agreed to take him back like the biff i am, got my own back tho five months later i dumped him by text and then when i saw him on a night out a few weeks later snogged a lad right in front of him! up yours posh boy.
I once dated a guy in the R.A.F man in uniform who can resist! i was 19 when we met and proper fell hard for him i was never the type who thought she’d settle down get married and have kids but i honestly thought it was gonna be with him i thought he was my one at the time, he turned out to be a dickhead and cheat on me with some bird in America and then break up with me by text and then he was in Liverpool a few weeks later and my stupid ass obviously got drunk and slept with him but had the great satisfaction of walking away from him the next morning :’)
No matter what we do in life one thing that sucks is a break up doesn’t matter how long if its months or years it still wounds the ego and makes us a little bitter especially when them good old adult feelings and emotions are involved.
I’m a single mum of two i have one full day and night to myself a week (when they go to their dads for the night) to chill out and see friends or catch up on netflix with a gin or twelve so obviously people are told this if i start talking to them, i started dating someone a few months ago and even with this knowledge he wanted to be in a relationship with me, he was awesome made me actually start liking myself again and look forward to what was gonna happen with us both, i stupidly let my guard down and allowed silly adult feelings and emotions to creep in to then have him tell me he couldn’t date me as he didn’t get to see me as much as he wanted and he needed someone to spend more time with! he knew exactly what he was getting in to so balls to him i got the last laugh the worlds about to go into quarantine anyways and were all gonna be stuck in the house for weeks on end so up yours mate i’m boss :’)
I think i honestly give up on love and relationships i think a box of wine and 12 cats is gonna be my future if i’m honest i’m a crank who would wanna put up with me i can’t even cope with myself half the time so anyone who thinks there up to the challenge good luck and may the odds be in your favour cause mate your gonna need it :’)
i got sent some stories to make me feel better about my break up stories and i’ve come to the conclusion that alot of the male race are bad knobheads and don’t have a pair of balls!
this one is proper dickhead behaviour
so after being a single parent to a 7 and 9 year old for a year or so i met an amazing guy,he had his shit together in life, a good career owned his home and car and an absolute sweetheart who was caring charming and when he met my children he was amazing with them. we enjoyed days out,nights in he treated me to a week away just the two of us in a log cabin in the woods it was bliss. i finally had a guy who was sweet and treated me good who could join our family. everything was rosy until valentines came around and i heard nothing from him, the following day i noticed my facebook relationship no longer had him tagged in and his was single i messaged him asking if he was breaking up with me and yes apparently he had! broken up indirectly through social media on valentines day a week before my birthday! at 29 dating a 30 year old i thought this petty shit was behind me and i still don’t have a reason other than ‘i don’t know’
blokes just arn’t making themselves looks good now :’)
I was dating this bloke for a couple of months he was cheeky but charming and quite spontaneous he took me a weekend away with a couple of hours notice and would drive across town to turn up as i was going to bed just to give me a goodnight kiss, he was due to take me on a romantic weekend away when he told me he’d now have to leave at lunch on the Sunday because of work which was fair enough, until my friend messaged me to come to hers urgently. turns out he was on plenty of fish and had arranged a date with a friend of my friend for the sunday afternoon!! i confronted him and he denied it until i provided screenshots, then he constructed an elaborate lie of how his gaming friends online had hacked his account and spoken just like he did, and only at the times he wasn’t busy to arrange him this date not knowing he was with me, he sent screenshots of his friend ‘confessing’ but accidentally included a message on another platform saying that they’d never used the app and had no idea how to use it
and the final dickhead award
me and this guy had been together for 4 years! he stopped speaking to me on Christmas day after texting someone all day, don’t speak till new years day when he dumps me by text!! text after four bloody years a few weeks later he’s with a girl from work! but at the end of the day i now have 3 holidays a year he has three kids i think i won here.
so i think we can all take from this is most men have proper gobshite behaviour we think they’ll get better as we get older but they don’t! but its about to be the end of the world so we just gotta grab what we can get a bit like pasta and beans at the shop and hope for the best! here’s hoping that the world don’t go to shit and i finally get to find someone who puts up with me and doesn’t end up being a gobshite who makes me laugh and has a massive wi…….ndow view from his front room :’) be safe folks in these uncertain times and most of all don’t forget to wash your hands you dirty pig!!
xxxx
Fat Bird Thinking 